Thursday, October 3, 2013

Last night, I got a visitor's pass so I could go to Maik's to play Magic. Sam brought Chinese food and it was good. We all opened 8 booster packs from the new Theros expansion and played a sealed deck tournament. I lost against Maik, but won against Sam. I used a mono green deck.

Today, I worked from 10:30 to 5:30, with a 2 hour break, for a total of 5 hours. Amadeo and I finished the tile in the bathroom and kitchen. Amadeo was proud, because we finally finished, and because it was the one task he was afraid of not doing right due to his inexperience with it.

Amadeo took us to McDonald's for lunch, and then took me to LSU Behavioral Health to get my psychological assessment results. As it turns out, I have Asperger's syndrome, depression, and have the official diagnosis to prove it now. I am so happy because this will help me alot in the future with therapy and getting disability income. I am just glad I have the diagnosis because I understand myself better now and how to better cope with my problems and struggles.

While I was at LSU, Amadeo went to Home Depot, and came to pick me up after. We returned to the house, and we finished laying the tile. Hooray!

I chatted with Dyanis tonight and stayed focused on it, so it went well. She was happy for the second day on a row. I am about to go to bed.

We finished the tile, yay! :)

Sunday, July 7, 2013

COH: $112.00

EBT: $245.02

Phone: 151.20

Visa: $0.93

Laundry: $2.00

Weather: 77°F rainy and cloudy

Mood: ok

Weight: 270 lbs

I didn't get to post a blog yesterday because I was out all day with Sam and didn't get a chance to access the internet. We spent 5 hours at Washington Square and part of the French Quarter juggling and hanging out with his friend George. Sam really enjoyed that and it was first weekend off in a long time. He was glad to do "nothing"  on a Saturday for once. Later, we got Subway, went to his apartment, played Magic, and then we went to bed.

Today, I slept in, we ate, and we hung out before he took me home. When I got home, I did the daily chores such as the dishes and scooped the cat litter box, then I took my bird cages outside to clean them. Later, it started to thunder, so I took them in. I laid down a couple times and Amadeo got mad at me, as usual. I am so bored and depressed all the time. There's nothing to do and no reason for me to be up as far as I see it, yet I am forced to be up by Amadeo. I don't understand why he can't just leave me alone and leave me be.

Anyway, I rode here to post this blog. Not much going on, and later I will go home and go to bed. I won't be showering tonight because all the towels and clothes are dirty and we have no quarters to put in the washing machine. 

                                    

                                                              

Friday, July 5, 2013

COH: $130.00

EBT: $245.02

Phone: 182.60

Visa: $0.93

Laundry: $0.50

Weather: 75°F rainy and cloudy

Mood: ok

Weight: 270 lbs

Yesterday, I hung out with Sam and Maik and we played MTG.

Today, Amadeo stayed home and I had some issues with getting up and staying up because I am bored and depressed with nothing to do. Amadeo pushed and pushed me to stay up and I did. The power went off at around 1pm-2pm and he left. Later, the power came back on and Amadeo came back with Dawn. I had called Terry and Sasha but no answer. I am thinking of asking Mills for my old job back. I don't know, though. I came to CC's to post this blog and chat with Dyanis. Not much else is going on today.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

COH: $40.64

EBT: $110.99

Phone: 263.20

Visa: $1.97

Laundry: $10.00

Weather: 84•F sunny and cloudy 

Mood: depressed 

Weight: 274 lbs.

By now, I can surely say that I am depressed. I took Abilify this morning hoping it would help, because I am tired of feeling this way.

I lack energy, drive, motivation, and focus  to do anything these days, not just work. I move like a zombie and feel like I have a ball and chain tied around my ankle. To do anything requires all of what little effort I can put forth, and at best I am as slow as trying to run underwater. I feel tired and down all the time and I hate it. 

I am going to see the doctor as soon as he can squeeze me in his schedule, but that could take weeks. In the meantime, I feel useless and frustrated because I am letting everybody down (Mills, Amadeo), but I don't mean to. This is something beyond my control for the most part.

Feeling like it's better late than never, I went into work from 3:45 to 5:45 today. I scraped paint off of doors, and swept.

I need more help than can be given to me at this time. Outside of therapy and seeing my case worker, I feel like a turtle on its back; all on my own and helpless no matter what I do. It feels like I am going to be stuck like this forever, only getting worse and not better.

All I can do for now is try my best to stay on track, keep taking Abilify, and wait to see my therapist, doctor, and case worker again.