Sunday, May 26, 2013

COH: $55.40

EBT: $69.42

Phone: 185.40

Visa: $0.93

Laundry: $10.00

Weather: 79•F 

Mood: stressed

Weight: 269 lbs.

I slept over at Sam's last night. This morning, we showered, ate, and worked on magic decks, then we are Chinese buffet for lunch and he took me home.

The rest of the day, I unpacked, did the laundry, trash, dishes, and took care of the pets. I just now was able to get to a wifi spot to post this blog. 

This week has gone by nonstop and I am stressed out. I work again tomorrow even though my day off was not really a day off, but at least I will get Tuesday and maybe Thursday off, too.

It seems to stay on track, I will have to spend more time at home in order to keep up with the household chores and keep on schedule. There is so much stuff in the apartment that it gets messy easily and requires almost constant attention. That is stressing on its own, but again

 I will try to keep up with it better.

Anyway, I need to get back home to finish the chores and laundry, and get ready for bed. I am so exhausted, but I hope I sleep better tonight because of it. Until next time...

P.S. Tonight, I walked to McDonalds, not ran, and I stayed outside instead of going inside and ordering food. I will try to do this more often, so long as the wifi signal is good out here.

Monday, May 20, 2013

COH: $109.89

EBT: $110.99

Phone: 271.60

Visa: $1.97

Laundry: $10.00

Weather: 88•F sunny

Mood: better :)

Weight: 274 lbs.

Therapy went well today. We found alot of practical solutions to my problems. Afterward, I took my birds outside, cleaned up around the house, rested for a while, and then went to a wifi spot to post this blog. I may go to Rouse's later and maybe the cafe after that. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

COH: $119.72

EBT: $110.99

Phone: 285.00

Visa: $1.97

Laundry: $10.00

Weather: 84•F sunny and cloudy 

Mood: worried, a little down 

Weight: 274 lbs.

I took the parakeets outside today, picked up around the house, and showered. Amadeo, Dawn, and Mills went to the Bayou Festival. I went grocery shopping at Dollar General, and now I am at McDonald's posting this blog. Later, I will wash clothes, call Lou, and chat with Dyanis.

In other news, the cat has been whining and moaning alot today and lately. I think  he is bored and wants to go outside, but he would get lost again if we let him out. I  don't know what to do :(

Friday, May 17, 2013

COH: $69.37

EBT: $134.24

Phone: 135.40

Visa: $1.97

Laundry: $10.00

Weather: 81•F sunny

Mood: frustrated with myself

Weight: 278 lbs.

I am frustrated with myself. I am sleeping 12-14 hours a day and keep missing work, even when I go to bed early. I wake up and I still feel tired, have a lack of energy, and can do very little physical work.

I do not want to be like this. I do not want to miss work. I feel like I am letting everybody down, but I don't mean to. For some reason, this is the best I can do right now. I am not making this up, faking it, or exaggerating. This is a very real thing.

This has got to be because of depression. I am taking my meds as usual, but I think something is missing since I got off Abilify. On that, I was basically manic where I couldn't sit still for more than a second, but now I am the other extreme: depressive with low energy level and low functioning.

Anya said I should not have to choose between those extremes, and that there should be a middle ground somehow. Dr. Calhoun said I could get on a lower dose of Abilify, but I would need to talk to him again first. Anya wants me to be on something else that has the benefits of Abilify minus the side effects such as restlessness. Unfortunately, I don't know if such a drug exists. I just want to find resolution with this. Maybe I could even take half a pill of Abilify every other day, but I still have to get in touch with the doctor and clear it with him first. 

On the bright side, I got up and got some chores done today, including washing the white clothes and towels.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

COH: $85.15

EBT: $134.24

Phone: 216.20

Visa: $1.97

Laundry: $10.00

Weather: 79°F sunny and partly cloudy

Mood: ok

Weight: 272 lbs.

Ali moved out, so there is no more internet at the apartment. I am posting this from The Bean Gallery now. From now on, after work, I am going to post from Community Coffeehouse, since it is on the way home. Today, I missed my 11:00am appointment with LRS, so the had to reschedule for next Tuesday at 1:00pm. The rest of the day, I rested. I was so tired even though I got plenty of sleep. I washed, dried, and put away the dishes, took care of the birds and cat, took out the trash, and put away my clean clothes. Later, I ate leftover spaghetti. Dawn came in and started making some more. After I ate, I got ready and headed over here. I want to give them their private time, as well as get some of my own, get out of the house, and get at least a little bit of exercise. However, I do not want to stay out too late, so I will head home after 10:00pm like Dawn asked me to.

Friday, May 10, 2013

COH: $153.30

EBT: $147.69

Phone: 272.40

Visa: $35.62

Laundry: $0.50

Weather: 67°F thunderstorm

Mood: ok

Weight: 271 lbs.

Work was cancelled today because of rain. I swept the entire house today, including under the refrigerator and stove because it was full of dust, debris, and roaches. I got it all clean, though. Then, I started washing clothes, ate, and washed the dishes. Mills came by for a second to get something, and payed my $75 for the 2 and 1/2 days I worked. He actually payed me $80, and I gave him $5 in change. Again, what started out as a stressful, bad day is turning into something better later. I would say I got done what I needed to get done today. Maybe it's the weather, but I have been feeling down lately. Although, when Amadeo and Dawn stopped by, my mood got better and I was finally motivated to do chores like I had planned to since this morning, but previously lacked the energy, motivation, and focus to do it.